We are starting our series on relationships this week. Next week we will start answering questions so make sure you get yours in! #kairosgcy see you tonight at 7!
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 15, 2017
Wednesday, February 8, 2017
Relationships
Relationships are a blessing from God
All relationships are, friendships, parents & children, bf/gf, husband/wife
we are not meant to be alone, we are meant to be in relationships with others
We live in a culture that loves love.
* movies
* music
* literature
* in the US is almost a sin to have a movie where the guy does not get the girl in the end
* I know I find myself extremely disappointed when there is not a happy ending
* we love, love
* and we love seeing love win
So let’s look at what our US culture shows us that love is
* dependent
* usually we see the persons happiness dependent on the other persons happiness or presence
* these kinds of relationships usually make the people involved devastated when it ends, because their world has been wrapped around this one person
* magical
* in movies it feels like relationships are nothing short of magic
* by this I mean butterflies all the time, lighting up every time he walks in the room,
* It is magical, but not all the magical feelings last, and that’s okay
* physical (almost always seems to start with a kiss), then escalates quickly from there
* think about movies. Cinderella Story (dramatic kiss in the rain)
* feeling (emotional)
* if you are not in a relationship, you do not have value
* there are many movies and shows dedicated to this pursuit of a relationship (Bachelor, Dating in the Dark, Coupled, Are you the one?, Hitch, Christian Mingle)
What is love according to scripture?
* love is an action word—it’s something you do (1 Corinthians 13: 4-8)
* 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.
* There are two things in here that are very countrary to what culture tells us, “patience” and "self-seeking”, let me tell you what I mean by this
* When dating in a healthy way there should always be an end goal.
* marriage
* “dating without the intent of getting married is like going to the grocery store with no money, you either leave unsatisfied or take something that isn’t yours”
* if we rush into a relationship without having a purpose with that relationship we are allowing ourselves to enter into something that could hurt us for no reason
* What do I mean by hurt, because I know that _______ really loves me and would never hurt me
* whenever we enter into any relationship where we share personal things, there is the ability to be hurt
* not meaning that the person will share your secrets, but meaning if that relationship is broken that person will not be there for you in the same way anymore (=hurt)
* You don’t have to have a dating relationship to experience this kind of hurt
* I experienced this kins of hurt in Junior High with my best friend throughout 6-7th grade)
* Dating relationships, because they can get very personal and intimate takes the level of potential hurt up a notch
* Be patient, don’t dive into a relationship just for the label
* it’s okay to be best friends with a guy and not date him
* I encourage you to be friends first.
* if you are friends you can see what you like and don’t like
* it will allow you the chance to know them without being involved on an emotional level
* Our culture also pressures us physically.
* If you haven’t had your first kiss by the time you graduate high school (or earlier), it’s seen as weird.
* If you haven’t slept with anyone by the time you’re 25, it’s weird
* If you’ve been dating for years and aren’t living together it’s seen as weird (Greg and I were asked that all the time)
* All of these aspects are incredible blessings from God
* you can only have a first time for everything ONE time
* what an incredible gift that is, ESPECIALLY in a time where there are so many pressures by our culture to hurry up and do it
* what an amazing thing to say to you’re future spouse. “I haven’t done A, B, C because I have been waiting to share that moment with you”
* I don’t want to use the Bible to shame you into “being good”
* Rather, I want to express how big of a blessing it is to be patient in relationships
* it doesn’t matter what the rest of the world is doing
* we live in a world of broken people, who do things despite their best interests
* When you are in a relationship, it can feel like you are going to marry that person. Everything is perfect, they are amazing, they are THE one
* this is when it is crucial to wait on the Lord and really listen to him
* Culture tells us to be self-seeking
* it is often what can I get rather than what can I do for the other person
* we often act out of our feelings rather than from a place of wisdom
*
Challenge to rethink the way you view dating:
* why
* why now
* why this person
* what
* what do I need to be patient with
* what are my boundaries
* what am I going to do to keep them?
* how
* how is this relationship going to effect my relationship with God
* how will this relationship bless others
* how can I serve/bless my significant other?
All relationships are, friendships, parents & children, bf/gf, husband/wife
we are not meant to be alone, we are meant to be in relationships with others
We live in a culture that loves love.
* movies
* music
* literature
* in the US is almost a sin to have a movie where the guy does not get the girl in the end
* I know I find myself extremely disappointed when there is not a happy ending
* we love, love
* and we love seeing love win
So let’s look at what our US culture shows us that love is
* dependent
* usually we see the persons happiness dependent on the other persons happiness or presence
* these kinds of relationships usually make the people involved devastated when it ends, because their world has been wrapped around this one person
* magical
* in movies it feels like relationships are nothing short of magic
* by this I mean butterflies all the time, lighting up every time he walks in the room,
* It is magical, but not all the magical feelings last, and that’s okay
* physical (almost always seems to start with a kiss), then escalates quickly from there
* think about movies. Cinderella Story (dramatic kiss in the rain)
* feeling (emotional)
* if you are not in a relationship, you do not have value
* there are many movies and shows dedicated to this pursuit of a relationship (Bachelor, Dating in the Dark, Coupled, Are you the one?, Hitch, Christian Mingle)
What is love according to scripture?
* love is an action word—it’s something you do (1 Corinthians 13: 4-8)
* 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.
* There are two things in here that are very countrary to what culture tells us, “patience” and "self-seeking”, let me tell you what I mean by this
* When dating in a healthy way there should always be an end goal.
* marriage
* “dating without the intent of getting married is like going to the grocery store with no money, you either leave unsatisfied or take something that isn’t yours”
* if we rush into a relationship without having a purpose with that relationship we are allowing ourselves to enter into something that could hurt us for no reason
* What do I mean by hurt, because I know that _______ really loves me and would never hurt me
* whenever we enter into any relationship where we share personal things, there is the ability to be hurt
* not meaning that the person will share your secrets, but meaning if that relationship is broken that person will not be there for you in the same way anymore (=hurt)
* You don’t have to have a dating relationship to experience this kind of hurt
* I experienced this kins of hurt in Junior High with my best friend throughout 6-7th grade)
* Dating relationships, because they can get very personal and intimate takes the level of potential hurt up a notch
* Be patient, don’t dive into a relationship just for the label
* it’s okay to be best friends with a guy and not date him
* I encourage you to be friends first.
* if you are friends you can see what you like and don’t like
* it will allow you the chance to know them without being involved on an emotional level
* Our culture also pressures us physically.
* If you haven’t had your first kiss by the time you graduate high school (or earlier), it’s seen as weird.
* If you haven’t slept with anyone by the time you’re 25, it’s weird
* If you’ve been dating for years and aren’t living together it’s seen as weird (Greg and I were asked that all the time)
* All of these aspects are incredible blessings from God
* you can only have a first time for everything ONE time
* what an incredible gift that is, ESPECIALLY in a time where there are so many pressures by our culture to hurry up and do it
* what an amazing thing to say to you’re future spouse. “I haven’t done A, B, C because I have been waiting to share that moment with you”
* I don’t want to use the Bible to shame you into “being good”
* Rather, I want to express how big of a blessing it is to be patient in relationships
* it doesn’t matter what the rest of the world is doing
* we live in a world of broken people, who do things despite their best interests
* When you are in a relationship, it can feel like you are going to marry that person. Everything is perfect, they are amazing, they are THE one
* this is when it is crucial to wait on the Lord and really listen to him
* Culture tells us to be self-seeking
* it is often what can I get rather than what can I do for the other person
* we often act out of our feelings rather than from a place of wisdom
*
Challenge to rethink the way you view dating:
* why
* why now
* why this person
* what
* what do I need to be patient with
* what are my boundaries
* what am I going to do to keep them?
* how
* how is this relationship going to effect my relationship with God
* how will this relationship bless others
* how can I serve/bless my significant other?
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