All relationships are, friendships, parents & children, bf/gf, husband/wife
we are not meant to be alone, we are meant to be in relationships with others
We live in a culture that loves love.
* movies
* music
* literature
* in the US is almost a sin to have a movie where the guy does not get the girl in the end
* I know I find myself extremely disappointed when there is not a happy ending
* we love, love
* and we love seeing love win
So let’s look at what our US culture shows us that love is
* dependent
* usually we see the persons happiness dependent on the other persons happiness or presence
* these kinds of relationships usually make the people involved devastated when it ends, because their world has been wrapped around this one person
* magical
* in movies it feels like relationships are nothing short of magic
* by this I mean butterflies all the time, lighting up every time he walks in the room,
* It is magical, but not all the magical feelings last, and that’s okay
* physical (almost always seems to start with a kiss), then escalates quickly from there
* think about movies. Cinderella Story (dramatic kiss in the rain)
* feeling (emotional)
* if you are not in a relationship, you do not have value
* there are many movies and shows dedicated to this pursuit of a relationship (Bachelor, Dating in the Dark, Coupled, Are you the one?, Hitch, Christian Mingle)
What is love according to scripture?
* love is an action word—it’s something you do (1 Corinthians 13: 4-8)
* 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.
* There are two things in here that are very countrary to what culture tells us, “patience” and "self-seeking”, let me tell you what I mean by this
* When dating in a healthy way there should always be an end goal.
* marriage
* “dating without the intent of getting married is like going to the grocery store with no money, you either leave unsatisfied or take something that isn’t yours”
* if we rush into a relationship without having a purpose with that relationship we are allowing ourselves to enter into something that could hurt us for no reason
* What do I mean by hurt, because I know that _______ really loves me and would never hurt me
* whenever we enter into any relationship where we share personal things, there is the ability to be hurt
* not meaning that the person will share your secrets, but meaning if that relationship is broken that person will not be there for you in the same way anymore (=hurt)
* You don’t have to have a dating relationship to experience this kind of hurt
* I experienced this kins of hurt in Junior High with my best friend throughout 6-7th grade)
* Dating relationships, because they can get very personal and intimate takes the level of potential hurt up a notch
* Be patient, don’t dive into a relationship just for the label
* it’s okay to be best friends with a guy and not date him
* I encourage you to be friends first.
* if you are friends you can see what you like and don’t like
* it will allow you the chance to know them without being involved on an emotional level
* Our culture also pressures us physically.
* If you haven’t had your first kiss by the time you graduate high school (or earlier), it’s seen as weird.
* If you haven’t slept with anyone by the time you’re 25, it’s weird
* If you’ve been dating for years and aren’t living together it’s seen as weird (Greg and I were asked that all the time)
* All of these aspects are incredible blessings from God
* you can only have a first time for everything ONE time
* what an incredible gift that is, ESPECIALLY in a time where there are so many pressures by our culture to hurry up and do it
* what an amazing thing to say to you’re future spouse. “I haven’t done A, B, C because I have been waiting to share that moment with you”
* I don’t want to use the Bible to shame you into “being good”
* Rather, I want to express how big of a blessing it is to be patient in relationships
* it doesn’t matter what the rest of the world is doing
* we live in a world of broken people, who do things despite their best interests
* When you are in a relationship, it can feel like you are going to marry that person. Everything is perfect, they are amazing, they are THE one
* this is when it is crucial to wait on the Lord and really listen to him
* Culture tells us to be self-seeking
* it is often what can I get rather than what can I do for the other person
* we often act out of our feelings rather than from a place of wisdom
*
Challenge to rethink the way you view dating:
* why
* why now
* why this person
* what
* what do I need to be patient with
* what are my boundaries
* what am I going to do to keep them?
* how
* how is this relationship going to effect my relationship with God
* how will this relationship bless others
* how can I serve/bless my significant other?
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